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inspiredfly's journal
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Caught you looking  Hi. I'm bad at this whole online journaling thing. I really just like reading other people's thoughts and then don't have time to contribute my own. Well, I'm here now I guess. I'm SO tired. I've stayed up past midnight the past four nights. Thurs: 3am. Friday: 1:30am. Saturday: 2am. Sunday: 4am!! And now it's today and I have to go to work on 5 hours of sleep, which is not enough for me. Oh well. I really like that I get to be around people. I really like them. Plus, when I get home, I take a while to unwind. Thinking is my downfall. Everything seems to be so much clearer at night. Anyway. I'm good. God is good. I cried a lot over the past two weeks because of this multiplication business. I don't like it. But apparently it's very important to God. And it's stretching my faith. So I guess it's very important to me as well. I really like mySpace. It's lucky I don't have a desk job, I'd be so tempted to spend all my time online at mySpace. If anyone wants to check out my page, go here: www.myspace.com/andiskerry I don't have a lot to say. I'm just really tired and sort of loopy. Current mood:  sleepy.
I painted today!! It was so exciting. I haven't painted in a very long time. I had started a painting like a year ago of Horsetooth Res. I was going to give it to someone, but it didn't turn out, and I dind't like it. So it sat there for a bit and then I tried to turn it into a whale. Weird, I know. And whales are really not my style. So today I was praying about the canvas and the vision of a young eskimo girl praying fervently appeared on the canvas. I could compare it to when we were all kids looking up at the clouds trying to see different shapes in them. Sometimes it's a cow, sometimes it's a turtle, but this time it was a little eskimo. It was, as always, better in my mind than when it finally came into shape on the canvas, but I like it anyway. I also started a new direction on my really big canvas. I think I'm going to make it depict the scene of Jesus walking on water. Sometimes I really don't like my style, but I'm really powerless to change it. It's like trying to change my own essence. I just can't do it. I can dye my hair and wear different clothes, but I can't change who I am. Oh well. I suppose God has his reasons... I'm under attack I think. Which, maybe, is good... Maybe it means I'm doing something right? So I'm a bit sick with the non-fun throat thing. My throat just hurts and I'm a bit stuffy. But it's luckily nothing paralyzing. Christmas was good. I spent the morning with Madee's family. I don't think that I've ever met a family that's more generous. I spent last Christmas with them as well and I feel like a real member of the family. So it was cool, but I felt yucky. So I went home and tried to sleep a bit before work, but that didn't really happen. I called my family and tried to talk to them but they were crabby, and my brother wasn't very friendly, which is unlike him. I don't know what was going on, but it made me sad and unnerved me. Then I went to work and work went well, except for the yuckiness in my throat. So here's when I was attacked. I went home after work, tired and not feeling well, and I sat down on my couch. Then I heard a dripping noise. So I turn around and look at the source and it was ANOTHER drip coming from right above our kitchen table. The cieling dry wall was pealing off and dropping onto the table and floor and chairs. My favorite jeans and a few Christmas things I'd gotten were on the chair right under the drip soaking wet and covered with drywall plaster. Yuck. In case you didn't hear last time, there was a drip at basically the same place when I came home from Thanksgiving break. It took them a week and a half to get stuff back to normal. Normal being: no 2x2 foot hole in the cieling, no plaster goops all over the floor and table, no water on the carpet, no yucky wet plaster smell. So here it is again, except this time, instead of a busted water pipe, it's from a leak in the ROOF of the building. I'm on the first floor and the leak apparently circumvented the appartment above me and just attacked my cieling. It's kind of comical actually. I'm betting God wants to teach me something from this, but I haven't a clue what. ...Maybe to expect a leak every time there's a holiday? Anyway, I'm sort of grumpy because I didn't sleep well, the maintenance guy called me back at 6am, and then came over and started banging around (not that he could really help it, he was doing his job). And I've been up since with a headache and my yucky throat, trying to get things together enough to leave for Faithwalkers by 3am tonight after working. Sorry for complaining. I'm just tired. Please pray that I keep God in mind through my stupid mild trials that for some reason are getting to me. Thanks, and Merry Christmas! Did I mention how cool God is? God is God and there is no other. There is no other God who forgives my sins and makes me new from the inside out. There is no other God who ordains the weather for my good and guides me safely home through tretcherous blizzards. There is no other God who gives the gift of His own Son's blood and the example of a perfect life to follow. There is no God who makes beautiful things like mountains covered with snow and the faces of my sisters. There is no other God who prepares a place in Heaven for us. There is no other God who spoke a book to us. There is no other God who was born into the flesh of man and lived among us. God is God and He is Sovereign and Good. Worship the Lord only, there is no other god. Merry Christmas!!!! I was watching the news last night, and upon hearing that I-25 is shut down from Denver to the New Mexico border, I was astounded by God's infinite wisdom and guidance. During work on Tuesday (on my 2pm to 10pm shift) I was debating on whether to leave on my seven hour trek home on Tuesday night after work around 11pm or sleep some and leave on Wednesday morning around 4am. I went home after work and was pretty worried and wound up about driving through a blizzard the whole way. I was praying about it and reading my bible, but I didn't get any straight answers. I was just about to get in my PJ's and get in bed when I got a call from Tom Gallegos, who wanted to come and give me some Christmas cookies. When he and Steve came over I asked their advice. The storm was moving up the exact route I was planning to take. The weather reports said that the storm should hit the Denver/Fort Collins area at about 6am. So I figured, if I left as soon as I could, then I could get at least a couple of hours of dry roads to drive on. BUT, was it a good idea to leave not having slept at all? Tom's advice was that I should leave as soon as possible and then when I got too tired to drive to pull over and sleep some. I thought this was sound advice and I took it, luckily. I ended up getting on I-25 at midnight and I got to Buena Vista before I hit any snow at all. It was about 4am when I came to Monarch Pass. It was blizzardy and snowing pretty hard. And there was a sign at the base of the pass saying that all vehicles needed to have chains in order to proceed. I don't know about you, but I don't own chains. --Here's another of God's incredible foresights: On Sunday I was running out of time to ask people to trade cars with me. I don't feel comfortable driving my little '85 Honda (whom I've deemed "Loosy" because of the loose nature of her bumper) up snowy mountain passes. So I needed a car that was up to the task. And on Sunday I had no idea that it would be blizarding on my travel date. So I randomly happened to ask Jesse and he consented. When Jesse and I were trading cars on Tuesday morning, he was cleaning out his trunk for me and he haphazardly pointed out that he had chains. Then we went back inside the church. I ran into Vanessa on the way out and she told me about the winter storm warning, which I didn't know about until then. -- So I was at the base of Monarch pass in exactly the ordained car for the trip. I put the chains on, and headed up the slope at a whopping 15 mph. It was yucky. I could only see about 5 feet in front of me and the road, even though I had just seen plows go by about 20 minutes before, was covered in a foot or more of wind-blown snow. I could barely see where the road ended and the mountain side began. It was God's infinite grace that a semi had just gone ahead of me so that I could see the tracks that they left behind. Near the top of the pass I wanted to stop and sleep or something, but I was afraid that if I stopped at all I would get stuck. So I plodded on. It took me two hours to get over the pass (when it normally would take about 45 minutes), but when I got down into Gunnison it all cleared up, and the roads were snow-packed, but I could see them. Isn't God cool!! He thought of all the details for my trip before I even knew they were details I should be aware of. He is the ultimate travel agent. I love you all and hope the blizard is granting you all really fun and cozy snow days. Current mood:  enthralled in Him.
I wanna have my cake and eat it too! (mmm cake...) But this isn't really about frosted goodness, it's about Christmas. I SO want to go to Faithwalkers. I SO want to go home. I SO want to get a new job. I SO love the job I have. I SO need the money of working. I SO don't care about money. I'm so in need of God's guidance. God can do anything right? Do you think he would make the Christmas season like the movie Groundhog Day for me? I could just live it twice and get to do all the things I want to do. Is that too much to ask? :( Sadly I think I have to choose. Pray that I choose God's best choice for my life. Thanks. YAY!!! I'm SO thankful it hurts. I've gotten to spend the last three days at home. It's the first time in years that I've been home for Thanksgiving. I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! It feels so good to say that and mean it. God has changed my heart so intensely. I used to dread coming home, but now it's my greatest joy and priority. Can I get a YAY and an Amen?!! God has worked on my heart in a way I can't fully explain to give him glory, but he opened my eyes to see that my family loves me... it's cool. Anyway, I'm leaving for the Fort tomorrow morning. I'm sad to go, but it's cool because I'm coming back with a mission. I'm working on getting into a Grad program at Regis... it's still in the idea stages, but will hopefully pan out with a lot of diligence. Ok, my time's up. Hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving! Hello LJ friends!! Sigh, I've much to say and not enough time to say it. 1) I think God is leading me to become a teacher. 2) It's a seriously involved process, and I'm apprehensive to even begin. And 3)Am I even faithful enough to go through the process? I'm worried that I'm not up to the task, but I feel like God wants me to do it. I'm worried I'll fail. But I guess if God really wants me to do it, he'll provide the time and the energy and the money and the skill. All I have to do is trust him to use my mind and abilities. But it's hard to think like that all the time for some reason. I just seem to keep screwing it all up by disobediance. I get paralized by fear. I am excited though. I know God has good for my life, I just have to trust that he's guiding me, and that he can work through my blunders. There's so much I've learned about God in the last few weeks, I've no idea how to sum it all up. I guess, suffice to say, God is good, and he's in control, and he has a plan and he loves me. Somehow, he loves me. I feel this sense of purpose. Like God is going to do something with my life. It makes me happy. By the way everyone: if you have any art or want to do any art, I would like to put it up in the Gathering Place. Let me know. Thanks. Current mood:  excited.
Hi friends, it's been a while. And I don't really have time for a full entry. I have so much going on lately, it's very overwhelming. I'm piling on the business, and I apparently don't know when to stop. And that's all I've got time to write. Business calls. Hey all. I hope the week was as good for you as it was for me. I'm sad to say I'm back at work and annoyingly normal again. I think if I could, I would always be out on an adventure. I don't like normalcy. I get antsy and restless, aimless, even though I have a million different things to do. Maybe I'm just coming down from the high that this trip gave me... sigh. But the trip to Indiana/Chicago was amazing! The coolest thing about it was that God was so close the entire time. He was there when we almost died, and when things didn't go quite as planned, and then he was there when everything went exactly as planned. It was so weird how God showed me the reality of the war we are in in person. I mean, I've always heard about the war we're in, God and Satan, good and evil. And I've heard how to battle Satan by trusting God. And I've even been in the war, usually doubting God and toughing it out until it passes. But this trip gave me front lines perspective about how Satan doens't like us. And about how God isn't daunted by Satan. It's really really cool. Everything is going exactly as planned. God is good and sovereign and he's doing something absolutely cool. Surgery on all our hearts at once. Boy can he multitask... And I'm amazed at what God has done in my heart toward my family. I love them and miss them so much... can't wait till Thanksgiving. |
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